i'm still not sure how they can "see" your router's settings unless they're the defaults and you have remote management enabled. if you or a family member has allowed them access to the management interface, then of course they'll be able to change whatever, whenever.
if not, they should have no access. the only equipment they should be able to control is the cable modem itself, since they own it. in some cases, even that may not be true if you bought the modem and just subscribe to the service.
regardless, if you're running m0n0wall, you'd specifically have to grant management access (admin login/pass) to your ISP, so don't do that. if they can't walk you through a problem on the phone, ask to speak with a more knowledgeable tech who can.
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