well you might want to give pfSense a try. if it has the same problem with IPsec, you can always try site to site OpenVPN. it's not as easy to configure as IPsec but some folks like it better.
check out: http://forum.pfsense.org/index.php?topic=20927.msg107808
and this link:
http://forum.pfsense.org/index.php/topic,2228.0.htmlalso, check your PM.
One last thing you might try is to check the "Prefer old IPsec SAs" box on the "System: Advanced setup" page. I'm not too hopeful that will help but it's probably worth a try.
Roy...