First off I would set up a syslogger on a machine somewhere and see if you are getting any deny's from the firewall.
Ensure the machine behind the firewall as the Mono setup as its gateway. Won't work otherwise.
Also are you VNC'ing a Windows or linux machine. Linus tends to sit on 5901 (Display :1)
Also test the ping.
The connection request needs to get to AND from the VNC box. Try blocking the firewall and ensure you are getting deny's. If you are getting that far then you are half way there.
Run a netstat command on the VNC box to see if the connection is getting to the remote box.
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